You ruin your own life allowing fear to hold you back.
When you let fear hold you back you’re missing out on the best part of life overcoming that thing. It’s scary to take a step towards something you don’t know. It’s scary to step out of your comfort zone. But what should scare you more is routine and staying in one place where you don’t grow and learn.
You ruin your life living in the past.
When you choose to look back it’s always going to leave you depressed, you build up the past better than it actually was. You compare it to the present that you won’t appreciate until it becomes the past. It’s a cycle but if you learn to just value each day you have you’ll start living a better life for right now.
You ruin your own life by choosing people who aren’t good for you.
You see the best in everyone and think everyone has good intentions. A heart of gold who truly believes in always doing the right thing. With that, you get screwed over sometimes. But instead of wondering why the same thing happens to you with different people I think it’s important to take a look at the type of people you are choosing.
You ruin your life being your own worst enemy and critic.
It’s good to be hard on yourself and hold yourself accountable for mistakes. But striving for perfection isn’t something you will ever attain. You are harder on yourself than you need to be. You aren’t as forgiving. In having these standards for yourself, you don’t even realize the pressure you unknowingly put on others around you. You’ll never find the right relationship seeking someone perfect because we all have flaws. And even those flaws you dislike yourself someone will love and accept.
You ruin your own life not making yourself a priority.
You’re a yes person who hates disappointing anyone. But it’s important to make your happiness a priority. It’s important to realize when you’re running yourself too thin. Realize that putting yourself first isn’t selfish but essential for your own happiness and well being.
You ruin your own life when you settle.
You settle not because you don’t know what you deserve but you fear getting it and losing it. Lowering your standards both in parts of your life and relationships help you to not be disappointed or let down. But you aren’t living or fully loving doing anything that way. It’s about taking a chance on things and hoping for the best because that’s what you deserve.
You ruin your life going back to the people who hurt you.
People hurt each other all the time. But you hurt yourself more going back to that. You hurt yourself reopening wounds that haven’t healed. You hurt yourself thinking they are going to change. The truth is you can’t change people you can only love them and if they don’t love you back you don’t keep trying.
You ruin your own life not living it to the fullest.
Be careful when planning your life and saving and organizing and striving for goals. In the midst of that make sure you are actually living the life you can look back on. Make sure every day is one you are proud to live. And if you find you’re leading a life you aren’t happy with, try again and make it better.
You ruin your life comparing it to others.
It’s a generation where everyone is trying to compete with one another. But you have to realize the only competition you are in is with yourself and the person you were yesterday. If you better yourself and focus on your own track, that’s when you are going to improve. But if you keep looking at someone else and where they are you’re always going to feel a step behind. It isn’t about other people it’s about you.
You ruin your own life in states of isolation.
You’re guarded and afraid to let people in. You fear vulnerability. You fear someone getting too close and leaving. Your defense mechanism is to push people away sometimes when you need them most. But you have to understand you’re only hurting yourself doing this because we all need people sometimes and it doesn’t make you weak for it.
You ruin your life by being too negative.
Negativity will destroy everything in its path. What you project is what you attract. So if you aren’t happy with the things coming into your life take a look at how you talk to people, how you talk about things, the tone you use etc. All of those little things influence your life. So if you have a negative life there’s a chance you’ve brought that upon yourself.
You ruin your life holding grudges.
Forgive and forget isn’t your style. Even when you say you do you still hold onto things and struggle to fully move past it. It’s okay to be guarded around people and be wary of second chances. But sometimes people do make mistakes. Your greatest flaw is in only trusting yourself.
Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.