We’re all trying to avoid something.
Romantic relationships are full of challenges and compromise, and sometimes there’s nothing like a solid personality test to help you understand yourselves and each other better when it comes to making it through emotionally in tact. From learning to accept their little quirks to wading through all the things you agree and disagree on, there’s a lot that goes into building a relationship that isn’t all sunshine, rainbows, and lollipops.
Sure, falling in love and choosing to make a commitment to just one person is thrilling and romantic and special, but that doesn’t mean it’s always going to be easy.
When you and your partner or somewhere you’re dating face a point of conflict, the two of you have to be ready to work it out together, even when that seems incredibly difficult.
And often, when things feel the most difficult, it’s really because what we’re actually struggling with has nothing to do with the other person, and everything to do with the things about ourselves we try our best not to see. Whether it’s something traumatic from our childhood or learned behavior from prior relationships, there is always something we do our best to avoid when it comes to love.
Even when we know that avoiding confrontation isn’t healthy, when the only other option seems to be conflict, it can understandably seem like the safest bet.
But it isn’t. And if you want your relationship to succeed you need to know what you specifically hide most often.
You can keep getting into fights with your partner until you figure out what exactly’s going wrong, or you can take another route, such as this quick, simple quiz.
Simply look at the image below and take careful note of the first thing you see.
Then, simply scroll down to find out what this image you saw first in this personality test reveals about what you hide from in love.
If you saw…
1. The man’s face.
If you looked at this image and saw the man’s face first you are the kind of person whose focus and enthusiasm makes them a pleasure to know. You thrive when you’re living in the moment. You don’t like to dwell on negative experiences from your past, or those of anyone else’s either. For you, life is meant to be lived, and once each day is done you pack whatever happened away forever. That’s the only way to really feel free, in your opinion.
What you hide from in relationships is your fear of being seen as having emotional baggage.
It’s normal and natural to come into a new relationship with hangs up and damage from your prior romantic experiences. No one makes it out unscathed. You think clamming up about this stuff makes you look more “normal,” but really it just creates distance between you and your partner and could ruin your chance at a lasting love in the long term. So drop it.
2. The young boy.
If you looked at this image and saw the young boy first you have a jubilant and wistful heart. Nothing makes you happier than simply surrounding yourself with the people and the things that you love. You don’t like being the center of attention by any means, but that doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy the feeling of being in a crowd of familiar and beloved faces.
What you hide from in relationships is your fear of being a grown up.
You may be an adult, but you have never really felt like one. You pay your bills and go to work, but these it feels like you’re just doing these things to fool everyone into believing you’ve grown up. You may think this should be endearing to someone, but far more often it makes you comes across as totally helpless, which is never a good look. And the truth is that you aren’t, you’re just scared that if the person you love doesn’t feel needed, you’ll have nothing to else to offer. Please make a note that this couldn’t be any less true.
3. The painting.
If you looked at this image and saw the painting first you are the kind of person who is happiest when you are in the middle of a day dream. Sure, you love your partner, and you have deep attachments to your friends, but that doesn’t always translate into you actually seeking out a chance to spend time with them. You’re happiest simply emailing or texting, you don’t see what can be gained from actually seeing each other in person up to a point.
What you hide from in relationships is your intense need for time to yourself.
While being on your own makes you happiest and leaves you feeling rested and recharged, this isn’t something you’re proud of. In fact, you’ve often been told in the past that being this way is wrong and/or selfish. You shouldn’t feel any shame at all for needing your own time and space, but you should definitely be open with your partner about this from the get-go. If you can’t ask for what you need, you can’t be angry when you don’t get it.
4. The two huts.
If you looked at this image and saw the huts first you are a person who has probably been accused once or twice (or three times, maybe four) of being “too sensitive.” You aren’t: you have intense feelings and when something touches them you express yourself. That’s part of being a human and there’s nothing weird or wrong about it. That said, when you feel things so keenly, life can get pretty darn exhausting, so keep that in mind.
What you hide from in relationships is direct conflict.
You don’t like being criticized. I know, who does? But for you, even constructive criticism can feel like a cruel attack designed to tear you down. You can’t help but lash out in anger when you feel cornered, and you know what, if you’re actually being cornered, you’re allowed to be angry about it! Just be cautious when you react that you haven’t misinterpreted someone’s intentions. Anger is a valid feeling, when you have a valid reason to feel it.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a sex, humor and lifestyle writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the sex, love, and dating advice show, Becca After Dark on YourTango’s Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:15 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.
Source: Your Tango