By Katie Mather
Award yourself one (1) point for every “yes” answer and two (2) points for every “no” answer! Hehe! Love!
1. Do you think he’s The One?
2. Do you feel butterflies when you’re talking to him?
3. Do you write poetry about him?
4. Is he a Taurus?
5. Do you have daddy issues?
6. Does he have daddy issues?
7. Is he emotionally unavailable?
8. Does he live 3,000+ miles away?
9. Is he already dating someone?
10. Oh god, is he married?
11. Do you foresee yourself pining over him endlessly for several months (you tell your friends you got over it within three weeks but LOL) for absolutely no reason because he’s, like, not that great but it’s SO WEIRD that he didn’t drop everything to be with you and, I mean, you’re not that great either but he should’ve fallen in love with you immediately without you changing anything about yourself or making any effort?
12. Do you just LOVE love!?
13. Do you make horrible decisions?
14. Have you been reading a lot of Thought Catalog articles?
15. Were you not sure how to answer the horrible decision question?
16. Let me rephrase: have people repeatedly told you to your face that you make horrible decisions but you’ve ignored them?
17. Do you use holidays as an excuse to text people you shouldn’t, you piece of shit?
18. Do you think it’s clear I (the author) am projecting my own insecurities into this made-up fake quiz?
19. Do you think this is love?
20. Is your diary sick of you writing about him?
21. Do you think this is love because he’s ignoring you?
22. Do you know what love is?
23. Do you read his Twitter?
24. Do you usually ignore all your texts but would slaughter a goat if it meant that he’d give you the time of day?
25. Do you feel insane answering these questions?
Check your results!
If your final count was anywhere between 25 points to 50 points, here is your answer:
Look, you guys, I can’t be giving any of you advice. And I’m worried because you’ve turned to a fake online quiz to answer a question that you should really be asking yourself introspectively. Real talk, the answer is probably no. Usually it’s a no. Sorry. I don’t come up with the rules! I just write articles for the internet.
Also I know I told you that the answer is no, but I texted him anyway, so I guess you’re going to text your person as well. This is why I said I can’t give you any advice. Who cares? What is the point of anything? Can you just text me back?