This is very interesting! You should read it. No Idea who wrote this but it is worth a good read.
“As the tongue is incapable of detecting poison, so is the emotions (heart) powerless to detect flawed character.” –Fjo-Perez
Growing up, one of the biggest counsels thought to be absolute and infallible was “FOLLOW YOUR HEART”. It sounds really really deep and maybe even spiritual.
Especially for women; shhhhhhh, women think they are deeply “hearty”. Women are emotional and are easily touch with some softening stuff, like poems and music (soft) little children and little acts of kindness. Oh lovely hearts and bundles of emotions.
This is what most people refer to entirely as “heart” but we know today that the heart is more than that. The old wisdom says ” follow your heart”
What they failed to tell us was that a heart worth following must be a wise heart, a specially schooled heart and I don’t mean the formal schooling at all otherwise you won’t find heartbreaks amongst college graduates.
You don’t have to see the four walls of a school to be strongly propelled by your heart to do things, anything.
Everyone who is breathing has a heart for sure. The question is how many times have we felt really strong about something and follow its lead only to land in trouble?
I haven’t said following your heart will land you in trouble every time but its important to know that there is nothing infallible about following your heart. Well , I guess we can all share a few personal stories of how our passion have let us down ultimately.
That you feel convinced in your heart doesn’t mean you are not actually in error. That you feel strongly about a person or a matter doesn’t mean your feeling is right. It doesn’t mean you are not mistaken. Scary right ?
Most feelings are fueled by information at our disposal plus our personal preferences, biases and prejudices.
Especially when it comes to love, it feels really good and fairly easy to want to follow our hearts without much questioning.
First, what is this thing we even refer to as “heart” in the first place?
Humans generally are quick to use a part of a thing to define the whole. Heart on this level is reduced to mere emotional hunch.
So a girl falls in love and concludes that that guy is her man. The question is, how many of such relationships have ended in ruthless heartbreaks and love accidents.
A lot of people have gone into relationships wholeheartedly because everything on his/her inside aggregate to agree that he/she is going in the right direction.
And then a few years down the road their tunes change to “it must have been love, but its over now” with everyone packing and licking their wounds.
Am I discrediting the “heart” outrightly? Not at all. I am simply warning that most hearts are not worth following because they are emotionally unlearned and “unschooled”.
A heart can travel excitedly in a specific direction; fall in love sweetly with an armed robber without knowing it. The hearts on the face value is incapable of detecting character and core beliefs before falling in love.
Yes dear, you can fall in love with a witch and a ritual killer…but those aren’t the worst case scenarios. I don’t think the world has as much as 10% of criminals in total, but the rest of the 90% are as much troubles partly because most pairings usually would be wrong and much more, with wrong relational values.
So what do we do with our hearts then?
Well get some education; emotional education. We must realize upfront that our hearts can go in both directions, good or bad. We would always have to rely on other more stable and reliable indicators to arrive at the right path.
Before you start traveling with speeds in the direction your heart is leading you, you ought to be well grounded and be quite sure about the one thing your life is about.
Does that sound abstract to you? Then maybe its too early for you to even begin to consider getting involved in relationships except of course you are not averse to getting burnt severally; emotionally.
Listen, your entire life and future would be driven in a particular direction, we are made for a purpose and we will never be fulfilled until we live that purpose. You need to know what your potentials are and how it would shape the rest of your life.
The greatest torture in life yet, is to fall in love with someone who wants nothing to do with the only thing that can fulfil us, trust me, it won’t appear so in the beginning when you are drunk in love.
Yes, this is the greatest torture because it’s a permanent torture. Marriage is for a life time!
I have shared more than once a story of a beautiful senior lecturer who told me that her foremost prayer point was that God should KILL her husband because he hates to see her do the things that fulfils her!
I have seen so many of such relationships. Listen, in ten years time, all that would matter to you is fulfilling your potential and at that time it would matter the world to you whether your spouse is excited or indifferent about your values and dreams. If things go wrong here, it can ignite hell for the men, and it could be worse for the women.
So first, know where you are going in life and you must also find out the core values and the direction the one your heart is leading you to and be sure you are as excited about the future both of you are about to create as you are about the feelings brewing in your belly.
Always, the future is the judge of your immediate love decisions and that is why I suggest we balance our feelings and heart drive with what we know to be certain about our future RIGHT NOW!!
Love must be in the context of your destiny and future or it would end in disappointments and despair.
So what’s your life and future all about? What’s your overall purpose on this planet? Love must fit into your future or it’s a scam. Quote me!!!