My Daughter, looking for a husband is not the same thing as looking for a job. When you are looking for a job, you think of money and luxury. But when you are looking for a husband, you think of love, commitment and sacrifice. Money is good but it is love and commitment that will bind your marriage.
Do you know what? When your Father approached me, I was 21. I still remember that day. He didn’t have a car, he used to drive his mother’s bicycle. I never used to do make up. We fell in love. Do you see this house? I was there when your Father built it. I use to come here every day and supervise the workers. You see that old red car outside? We both contribute money to buy it, it was our first car. Your Dad will use it Monday to Friday and I will use it weekend, except when one person need it more than the other.
So, do not be afraid of starting small. The most important thing is love, commitment and dedication. Behind every successful man is a woman and behind every unsuccessful man is also a woman, choose where you will belong.
My Daughter, let a man see the real you and love the real you. When you pretend and look like what you are not and a man marry you, then one day when he begins seeing the real you, that is where problem will start.
There are some kind of men you should avoid or be careful with.
If you see a man always giving money to people and helping so many people but when you visit his home, his sister looks hungry and the mother is badly dressed then be wise. Think about it. A man that can’t support his own is not trustworthy.
My Daughter be careful of a man with too many secret. Think twice about a man that keeps too much to himself. How can you live with a man you don’t know anything about? You have the right to know his fears and his dreams. Know what you are getting into. When I married your Dad I knew his plans and I played my role to help him and here we are.
Watch carefully the way a man treats his sisters and people around him, habits are very hard to change, if he is treating them bad then he may treat you bad.
Pay every big attention to what I am about to say now, open your ears very well. If a man ever hit you while you are arguing, beat you up for any reason, do not bring such a man to introduce to me. Do not even think of marrying him. Or else you may spend every day defending your life instead of living your life.
There are some men that don’t give because they don’t have but there are others that don’t give because they are stingy. Think twice about such men.
If you see a man who drinks too much every time or smoke too much, do not expect him to change when you marry him.
Marry someone you are sure you can live with, not someone you are hopping will change.
Observe the kind of friends a man moves with, it has a lot to do with who he is.
My Daughter, I can’t choose a husband for you but i have given you advice that will guide you. I can’t wait for you to bring that man home and I can’t wait to dance with you on your wedding day.
Take note: This post is written by Mfon Abel Ekene (People call me these days ‘Abel Abel’). I am not married but this post is written from my observation of my parent as a child. I am sure this is what my Mum would tell her Daughter!
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