A facebook friend of mine shared this with me… Have a good read
First of all let me tell you that there is no such thing as luck in the matters of love. In love matters , your script is your luck, actually your LOT …..your Love destiny!!
Most people are even unaware that they have a specific love and marital script even if they are unable to articulate it in an instant.
Everyone has got a script for love and marriage.
In fact most people have scripts for most of the things they expect to get involved in in life. Most people are unaware of this and that is why it’s often difficult to solve naughty life issues.
Scripts are our dominant stands, beliefs and fervent expectations on any issue of life.
When it comes to marriage however, ladies take great pains and imagination to sculpt a script. Almost naturally without paying any particular attention to how its would work out, they start at a tender age to create and weave dreams around relationships and marriage; dreams of paradise and bliss.
Such dreams get to mature with time as they begin to come into better awareness of the kind of world they exist in.
With a few exception, the ladies usually have a better detailed scripts than guys cos they brood more on relationships and marriage. It’s in fact an obsession; for most of them it’s an ultimate life goal.
A lady’s deepest fulfilment always come from her relationships. It is pivotal to the rest of her entire life. For her, relational success comes first then other successes may come as extra.
There are wonderful men too who take time to work out really great marital script for their future, but I’ll have to admit right away that they are few; very very few, at least compared to the ladies.
Reason is simple, men don’t see relationships as the ultimate. Men derive their deepest fulfilment from successes in work and career. For the regular man, a sweet-yummy marriage is a far- fetched distant priority.
Everywhere in the world today you find gorgeous couples who are miserable and constantly on the edge almost losing all hope of making things work and they are not even aware what the problem is.
Isn’t it even foolish to go into a relationship with someone without knowing the content of that person’s love and marital script? Why isn’t it clear to everyone from the start that we all act in life in most cases according to our scripts?
Have you ever heard the statement “IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES ?” This is the biggest trendy alibi for love crashes today and its certainly not a myth.
If we really take quality time to understand this script principles we will realize that our lives and future is fairly predictable.
This is why I always say belief (scripts) is superior to behavior in love AND relationship matters. Good behavior can be staged, but no one can really conceal his beliefs, not even the best actors.
What individuals call success is when they have acted their personal scripts well enough. People used to give me standing ovation when I played the Bass guitar in those days, but unknown to most people, what I wanted more than anything else was to be a great singer.
My script was to sing great but people didn’t know that. So they wonder why I was not always very excited about their praise and loud applauds when I played the Bass really well.
Most people are completely oblivious of the COMMON fact that you can fall recklessly in love with someone with the worst script, at least in comparison with theirs.
Disharmony of scripts can, always destroys and flushes out the strongest of feelings and emotions of love.
Scripts are permanent part of us at least until a perceived greater understanding changes it. Scripts have no respect for feelings. Feeling must follow scripts or there will always be heartbreaks.
Marry always someone with whom your script can harmonize. Most miseries in marriages and love relationships is a direct result of polarized scripts by the individuals in the relationships.
I could recommend a script ( not here though) but I want to try and highlight dominant features of the typical male and female marital script deliberately leaving out religious colourations .
Starting with the male. TYPICALLY, ultimately he simply wants a peaceful home, a well organized family that would serve to give him peace and honour in the eyes of the world.
He wants to be treated with honour and RESPECT. He wants his wife to remain beautiful and youthful and can’t imagine being denied sex when he wants it. He wants to provide for his family PERIOD!
He certainly wants a happy marriage and for him those are the features of a happy marriage.
Of course this is not all but it kind of basically capture the basic script of men. There would be individual contours to it of course. Some of these features would be more emphasized by some guys than others.
How about the ladies ?
Most ladies would actually see men’s scripts as boring, very very boring.
Ladies don’t just want a peaceful and well organized marriage, they want it bubbling with life !!
Don’t forget that they really really took much time to build this script. They always want more than a home without troubles or crisis and guys, most of the time can’t just figure out what the stress is when she nags about being unhappy.
The woman wants to be adored and they wants the worship to continue infinito. They want a SHOW. Don’t simply say you love her, they want you to show off your love for them. Of course they plan to reciprocate but they want to follow your lead.
They want you to t a l k; really really talk to them. Really sweet and creative talk. They want to be the center of your attention. They want every communication to come through romance, lots of romance. They do not just want a “happy” marriage, they want it S W E E E E E T !!! This is it basically.
At this junction I can imagine guys rubbishing the script belonging to the ladies calling it mushy and western. Of course that of men is view by ladies as bush and boring.
The important thing is to find a compromise and harmonise scripts. Most married people never did this and now they experience raw hell.
Its not about finding faults with someone else’s script, it is important long before marriage to know for sure whether your script harmonises WELL with that person you are about to marry.
Don’t go ahead if it doesn’t because when a man or woman is set in his/her ways, that’s the life they are going to live. How many people even get to make attempts to find out these important things before the wedding day?
It is particularly shattering for women when after men who came to them all romantic, hovering around them for as long as the courtship last, take them to the Altar and barely six months later, he is acting another script AUTHORITATIVELY !
She had thought “Wow this is the man of my dreams!” That is what she has on her script. She was grossly mistaken. She failed to ask for his script for marriage.
If your scripts doesn’t harmonise before marriage it won’t harmonise in marriage.
My candid advice is, please don’t fall in love until you know his/her script DEFINITELY !
Devices subtue way to find out. Watch movies together and ask personal opinion on things you would really love in your marriage, but ask him/her dispassionately.
If its not too far from your script then maybe you can talk directly later and negotiate a compromise. If not think twice except you can afford to forgo those aspect of your script you really hold dear.
I respect your feelings o, BUT YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE WITH A SCRIPT !!!