The list of things my girlfriend does well is long, and the ways she is an awesome person is a topic I could write an essay about. By and large though, I am very good at taking care of myself. I could get by without her if I had to.
There is one thing she provides though that no other human being in my life provides, or I would say has ever provided, excepting a very small number of family members.
She is unequivocally on my side.
The other day I was going to the wedding of my oldest friend, the one friend I still have from high school. There were going to be a lot of people there I hadn’t spoken to in ten years, and there were good reasons why I hadn’t spoken to them. In high school they were my best friends, but towards the end we became estranged. They’d become a clique that pretty explicitly excluded me, mostly because I wasn’t comfortable with alcohol and drugs, and they were experimenting with them. We didn’t part on good terms, and it was difficult to lose all my best friends (except the one who’s wedding this was) at the end of my time in high school.
I was nervous. I didn’t know how they’d react to seeing me again. I didn’t know if they’d confront me, or bring up old disagreements, or make some sort of obvious demonstration of ostracism, or what. I was afraid to share this with my girlfriend. I didn’t know if she’d think I was being dumb, or a coward, or that I was putting too much weight in their opinions of me, or anything else. If they did bring up some issues about me in high school, some of which I’m not proud of, I didn’t know how she’d react – if she’d judge me, or leave me, or view me differently, or whatever else.
But bring it up I did, because I trusted her and knew that was the right thing to do. She asked me what I wanted her to do if anything happened. She asked if I wanted her to stand up to them, or stand with me, or leave, or whatever. The truth was I didn’t think any of that was necessary. I was fully capable of fighting my own battle if I had to and it was clear if they were assholes at our mutual friend’s wedding, they’d have been the ones in the wrong. But the fact that she was so clearly going to stand with me no matter what and was not at all concerned with what she might learn about me from them – that kind of blew my mind. It made sense afterwards – I felt the same way for her. No one on Earth could convince me my girlfriend’s an asshole, and according to her there are some people in her past who would say so. But it still blew my mind.
No matter what she would be on my side, and I don’t think there is anyone else I can say that about in my life. Except for my mom.
This is the most recent, but not the most substantial, time she has been there for me in this way.
Be someone he can depend on and trust when he needs you most. Whatever else you do, if you do that, you will be irreplaceable.
P.S. The wedding was fine. Several of my old friends were delighted to see me. The rest just avoided eye contact with me the whole time. There was no drama and we had a lot of fun.
Written by Howie Reith On Quora