This Is Why She Stopped Being So Nice

By Kirsten Corley

 

She stopped being so nice when every time she texted you, she just sat there staring at her phone waiting.

She realized she deserves more.

She stopped being so nice when every time she tried to make plans you canceled last minute.

She was tired of getting let down so she stopped giving you chances to do so.

She stopped being so nice when all you ever wanted was to hang out with her drunk or late in the night.

She realized she needed something more than a physical connection that made her feel lonely.

She needed something more than feeling guilty leaving your house again.

She stopped being so nice when you’d only ever talk to her when you were bored.

She realized she didn’t deserve to wait for moments of boredom to be in your life.

She stopped being so nice when you began to confuse her with how you felt.

Because she always made it clear what she wanted from you.

And you stumbled through excuses not clearly conveying what her heart didn’t want to believe which was you weren’t right for her. No matter how bad she wanted you to be.

She stopped being so nice because everything you told her sounded nice.

But she needed something and someone concrete to believe in. Not someone who filled her with doubts making her question herself.

She stopped being so nice when you ran in circles of Snapchat and Insta likes and she realized that’s all it ever would be.

And while there were moments she wanted to answer she knew in her heart she shouldn’t feel a sense of defeat when caving to you.

She stopped being so nice when she realized you didn’t deserve her kindness.

She stopped being so nice when she realized holding on was only hurting her more because the moment she found the courage to let go what she would discover was it was only her making the effort.

She stopped being so nice when she realized she was losing self-respect trying to maintain this relationship that you didn’t even want to call one.

She stopped being so nice when every time you said goodbye she knew it wouldn’t be for long.

But she couldn’t keep waiting for you to come back.

She stopped being so nice when she realized she deserved better.

When she realized she deserved more.

When all her effort wasn’t working not because she wasn’t good enough.

But because you weren’t.

And everything sounded nice and she wanted to believe you.

But she stopped being nice because she had to.

Because you weren’t mature enough to appreciate the type of woman she was.

Because she couldn’t keep trying with you.

Because she didn’t want to try and convince someone she was right for them she just wanted someone who was sure of her.

You taught her exactly how to walk away every time you did so.

She stopped being nice because she learned from you.

And what she learned was how to let go and say goodbye and not care.

Even though it wasn’t in her nature or character.

You’ll miss her time and attention and heart. You’ll tell her you changed and you can finally be what she wants.

But you don’t believe it and neither does she.


She stopped being so nice because you taught her how to lie.

And even though she didn’t mean it when she says she doesn’t care, that’s what she had to say.

She stopped being so nice because that was her only chance at beating you.

And she did.

She let go. She moved on. She met someone better.

And it was only then you realized yourself it was you who should have been nicer.

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

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