You’ll never know if you don’t try.
Reaching out to someone you’ve never spoken to before or trying to get to know an intriguing, attractive woman better than you already do is a situation many guys find themselves struggling with. And as much as these men do try to find some solid general advice about how to get a girl to like you, considering that each of us is an individual with our own personal preferences, understanding how to talk to attractive women is definitely no easy task.
So honestly, while there is no 100% guaranteed way to go about it, we empathize with you guys who are just trying to be good men out there.
And that’s why we’re here to help you out.
So here are 7 well thought out suggestions for how to get a girl to like you for being the good guy you are.
1. Remain calm.
As scary as going up to a girl you find attractive may be, please don’t freak out about it. The only thing that will make the situation worse is you fumbling over your words and profusely sweating as you try to talk to her.
Remain as calm as possible. The absolute worst case scenario is that she wants nothing to do with you. So what? Then she’s clearly not the right girl for you and has saved you some trouble. It may be a blow to your ego, but that just means you have to brush it off and head on to the next gal.
2. Be polite.
Remember that not every woman is comfortable getting approached by someone who is interested in her. It may be for a multitude of different reasons including things you may not even expect. So just remember to be polite and respectful of her boundaries. Say “excuse me” or “hello” when you approach her. Tell her your name and introduce yourself right away so she knows who you are. Ask her if it’s okay if you have a seat next to her, and accept no if that her answer. Also, be sure to give her some space when you first walk up, because you never know if she’s comfortable talking to a stranger.
3. Strike up a conversation.
If she seems comfortable enough to allow you to sit and talk for a minute, get the conversation going! Start by telling her why you came over. Let her know that you thought she was beautiful or that you couldn’t help but overhear that she is studying the same thing you are.
Whatever the reason was, let her know why you approached her. That will ease you into a conversation and make her more open to talking to you.
4. Tell the truth.
If she asks questions about you, answer them honestly. I know sometimes you may want to whomp up your life story to make yourself seem more interesting, but that’s the worst thing you could do. If she starts to base her interest in you on lies, she’s bound to find out the truth at some point, and then you will have wasted both of your time
Be honest and up front. Tell her how old you are, what you do for a living, and some other general information.
Disclaimer: Being honest does not mean you should whip out some sob story or pompous fact about yourself. No one wants to hear upon first meeting you that your girlfriend of three years just dumped you and you’re heartbroken. In the same vein, even if you somehow did heroically save a child’s life last week, now is not the time to bring it up. Doing either of these things makes it seem like you’re looking for either pity or attention. Just don’t lie when she asks you something or make up an exaggerated story, that’s all!
5. Feel out the vibe.
Make sure you’re keeping an eye on both her verbal responses and her body language. If she’s facing away from you, crossing her arms, or continuing to use her phone while you talk, she’s most likely feeling anxious, uncomfortable or disinterested. Also, if she keeps giving you one-word answers or is really brief and to the point, she may not want the conversation to continue. Excuse yourself and let her know you’d love to continue the conversation if she wants to as well.
Backing off and while leaving the door open for her to approach you later may actually cause her to want to talk to you more. She will likely appreciate that you’re respecting her feelings and boundaries. If she was just being hesitant, giving her the power to continue the conversation at her own pace may make her feel comfortable enough to talk to you later or to offer to exchange numbers.
Then, if all goes well…
6. Ask for her number.
Ask her if it would be okay to get her number so you could get to know her more or take her out to lunch or coffee. Make sure when you do this you both exchange numbers, so she recognizes your name when you reach out to her. That way it’s completely mutual, you both swapped numbers, and if she wants to reach out to you first, she can.
7. Text her the next day.
I know some girls hate this, but I’m recommending you do it anyway. Text her the next afternoon and say something along the lines of: “Hi, it’s (whoever) from (wherever you met) yesterday. Just wanted to see if you wanted to (do some fun activity or grab some food)?”
The waiting is probably the worst part because in today’s world we thrive on immediate satisfaction. Don’t let it consume your mind if she doesn’t respond immediately. Chances are she really is just busy. If she doesn’t respond after a full twenty-four hours, I’d assume she may not be interested. Don’t lose hope, sometimes things come up, but an entire day is usually a pretty big window to respond to a text.
If she responds with a yes, you’re golden. Enjoy!
If she responds with a no, respect that she was straightforward with you and send a quick reply like “Okay. It was nice meeting you!” This increases your chances that she’ll change her mind because you’re being respectful of her wants and needs. And if she doesn’t, you can walk away with your self-respect intact.
If she says maybe or if she’s not sure, let her know that you’re up to do whatever she’s comfortable with whenever she decides it’s time. And again, give her the power to contact you if she decides she wants to meet up. Always make sure you’re allowing her to do what she’s most comfortable with. She’ll appreciate that and it will be a nice change of pace, making her more likely to say yes eventually.
Remember that everyone is different when it comes to what they want and need when getting to know someone new.
The main thing is to be respectful and polite. Regardless of exactly what she wants, you can’t go wrong with acting like a good person. And if she still isn’t digging you, her loss!
This article was originally published at Slutty Girl Problems