He’s not going to always think of you; thus, you have to make him miss you.
By Clayton Olson
Distance, or so they say, makes the heart grow fonder. But, of course, sometimes this requires a little push. It’s not always a given that the man you’re dating will think of you when you’re away from each other; thus, you have to make him miss you.
So, how do you do this? How do you make him miss you so much that it improves the foundation of your relationship? How do you make him miss you so much that he wants to commit? It starts with recognizing what you’re really asking.
If you’re trying to learn how to make a man miss you, odds are high that you’re really trying to become a priority in his life. You want him to long for you — sure, who doesn’t want that? — but you also want him to spend more time paying attention to you and cultivating your union.
There are many ways you can go about achieving this desired effect, but 3 things are proven to work. And it all begins with being a safe place for him to rest his head.
To know how to make him miss you, you need to do these 3 things:
1. Be his sanctuary.
If you were to take a class entitled “How To Make A Guy Miss You”, your first quiz would be on the concept of sanctuary.
That’s why being a safe place is so appealing: a man is attracted to lightness, relaxation, and connection. After a hard day at the office, he wants to go somewhere that’s the opposite.
Offering yourself as a sanctuary has other benefits too. For one thing, many men feel as though they need to recharge so they can return to the rat race the next day. By giving him the ability to do that, you increase his confidence and vigor. Men like that — really, everyone does.
What this looks like is up to you — a massage, a nice dinner, a funny movie, or maybe just an ear for him to air his troubles.
2. Focus on the connection rather than the commitment.
Another way to get a man to miss you is to focus on your connection above all else. Focusing on the commitment first is like putting the cart in front of the horse.
What does this focus look like? It looks like getting out the proverbial cement and strengthening the connection between the two of you before you start to worry about wedding bells. Doing the opposite doesn’t put a man at ease — it makes him feel pressured and unsafe.
In truth, it shouldn’t be hard to focus on the connection — it is that intimacy that is the driving force behind any relationship. And once that intimacy is established, the commitment falls into place.
Think about it like this: If you’re a woman trying to get your guy to commit, you’ve already lost the game a little bit. If you’re trying to force the commitment, you’ve already upset the natural polarity of allowing him to lead and allowing your relationship to play out in due time.
Starving the connection until some sort of commitment is in place is futile: it’s not fair to expect people to commit to something when they aren’t yet sure if there is a connection.
3. Give him your trust.
The third way to get a man to miss you is to give him something he desperately covets: your trust!
When a man knows that you trust him, he knows that you are presenting him with a precious gift: the chance to be seen clearly by you. When you allow a man to lead, to plan, to handle your heart, he will want to be around you. And, when he’s not, he’ll miss you.
Now, it’s important to note that trusting an untrustworthy guy is never recommended. If you’re with someone who has betrayed your trust over and over or lied repeatedly, there is really no reason to give him chance after chance.
But you should ask yourself this: why are you with someone untrustworthy in the first place? A man worthy of trust is the type of man worthy of you.
Clayton Olson is an International Relationship Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, and Facilitator. He delivers private virtual coaching sessions and leads online group workshops. Register for his free webinar that reveals the 3 Keys to Attracting and Keeping a High-Quality Man or grab his free guide 8 Secrets To Create A Rock Solid Relationship.