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How To Have Connected, Playful Relationships

I want to talk with you about living in the kind of life and relationship you really, really want.

By Goodguys2greatmen 
That last sentence has a key word in it.
It’s the word “living”.
Note, I didn’t say “getting” the life you want or “having” the life you want.
Those two words imply there is somewhere you must GO to achieve the life you want.

But, what if living that life is a place you come FROM, not a place to get TO?
What if you just DECIDED to start living the life you want right this moment?
What kind of man would you have to BE in order to make that choice?
I know…those last 3 questions are complex and may feel unclear to you.
I’ve had trouble being challenged with the same questions.

It’s because I’ve always thought that a passionate, fun, connected, meaningful, engaged, affectionate and sexual life was something that would happen to me.
It was something outside of me where I would have to go “find” it or it would eventually appear for me.
I’m finding out that is total horse crap. And I know horse crap when I see it.

I’ve learned that we’ve been slowly conditioned to be AFRAID OF BEING passionate, fun, connected, meaningful, engaged, affectionate and sexual men!
But that’s the only power we’ve ever had. We were BORN with those things!
Nobody has ever taken them away from us. But we have given away the power to own who we are. We are now gripped with fear to BE who we are and live how we want to live.
We seek permission – acceptance – reciprocation – validation.

We wait for others to give us what we want instead of just LIVING HOW WE WANT.

I have a simple example that I use to remind myself of how fun life is, all the time.
A Golden Retriever!

Dogs don’t give a shit. They laugh, love, lick and play any damn time they want to – and they NEVER apologize for being a Golden Retriever.
A Golden Retriever does not wait for permission to live an engaged, playful, affectionate life.
He doesn’t hope for happy and fulfilling relationships – he wakes up every day expecting he will have them. He DEMANDS it!
And he is irresistible.

(This post was previously published at

Written by Abel Udoekene

Abel Udoekene jnr is a fisherman by day, a blogger by night, a Social Media strategist, Writer, Children Ambassador, COO at Inspiration Africa.

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