What’s more important than starting a relationship? Developing and maintaining one that keeps both partners happy. Not letting things get stale. Keeping it fresh. A good man understands that effort and romance needs to extend far beyond the beginning stages of a relationship. The same effort that it took to get her attention is what it will also take to keep her attention.
It might be easier than you think – all it takes is a little effort and attention to detail.
Here are 5 ways to keep her happy.
1. Always be willing to learn new things.
Whether it be learning new things about her (emotionally or physically), or learning about life and becoming better in general – consistent improvement is a big part of keeping both of you happy while in a relationship.
Comfort is important, but complacency is deadly. Becoming too comfortable is the enemy of progress, which leads to boredom and tension in the relationship. We must work daily to become the best version of ourselves while remaining the man she fell for in the first place.
2. Keep courting her.
Sure, you’re in a relationship…but are you still courting her? Are you still showing her how much she means to you, even though you’ve already “gotten” her? It’s important to keep courtship alive , because when we stop showing effort to the person we’re with, the relationship begins to dwindle.
3. Surprise her.
Leave a dress on the bed with a note to wear it and where and when to meet you. Bring her flowers for no reason. Plan a weekend away.
Even just, cook dinner for her one night before she gets home from work.
Whether you’ve just started dating or have been together for years, if you’ve paid attention you’ll know what she does and doesn’t like, so you will be able to plan around her interests. What’s even more important about what you plan, is that you actually put in the effort (key word) to plan it.
4. Give her your attention.
This one might seem like it doesn’t need to be said – but it does. It needs to be said because most of us are busy. Very busy. We have businesses, or jobs, or crazy schedules, or smartphones or, you name it. All of these things constantly hold our attention and it’s difficult to cut it all off for awhile, but that’s what makes it special when we do.
Give the woman in your life the respect of your full attention. Don’t allow your relationship to become two people who just use their phones while sitting on the same couch.
Sometimes, it’s important to just…listen to her.
5. Show her she is desired.
Desire is more than just attraction. Any physical connection can breed attraction – but real desire, the deep lusting for a person you truly care for, is only built from a more profound relationship.
Small things like holding her hand or putting your arm around her will show her that you enjoy being close to her.
More specific things like complimenting the unique things about her that you love will show her that you pay close attention to her and are still drawn to her no matter how long you’ve been together.
When it comes to desire, men express themselves physically and often require that in order to feel emotional closeness. But what is important for us to always remember is that a woman needs to feel emotionally close to a man before she is comfortable being physically close to him.
In short: Chemistry.
Of course, romance in relationship should go both ways, but it’s important for us as men to keep communication honest and open. If we put in the extra effort to keep the woman in our life happy, it will show her that we truly care and help eliminate any insecurities she might have.
It’s not only up to men to keep chivalry and romance alive. Women also must remember to appreciate acts of respect men show to them, and settle for nothing less.
You don’t have to be the perfect man to make her happy, just be the man you said you were when you first met her.
originally appeared on
James Michael Sama’s Blog.