6 Things A Wife Really Needs…And Doesn’t Know How to Ask For

By Lesli White

Your wife needs these six things. Are you meeting them?

Happy marriages require selflessness. Being selfless is the opposite of selfish. If you’re selfless, you think less about yourself and more about others. But unfortunately, selflessness is often overlooked in relationships. On the surface, it appears to run contrary to the very notion. People often think that the pursuit of happiness by its very nature is selfish. This couldn’t be further from the truth. The pursuit of happiness in your marriage isn’t selfish, or at least doesn’t need to be.

We are drawn to those who selflessly give themselves, those who love openly and generously. While it’s important that your needs are being met in your marriage, if you aren’t also basing your relationship on the needs of your spouse, you will run into trouble. Here are six things a wife really needs and doesn’t know how to ask for. Your wife may be afraid to ask for these things or may not know how.

1. Better Communication

Your wife needs strong communication in the marriage. Research has shown that the quality of your relationship is directly related to the quality of your communication skills. Unfortunately, in many marriages today, one of the key issues is communication. What complicates this even more is the fact that men and women often communicate differently.

Your wife wants to be understood and accepted for who she is in the relationship. Sometimes, when a wife has a particular need, she may not know how to communicate that need or hesitates to ask because she is afraid of the tension the conversation will create.

2.Your Undivided Attention

Marriages are riddled with distractions. Not only are there distractions outside of the home like work, there are also distractions in the home, like technology, that can draw us away from our spouses.

At the end of a long day, many of us come home and do everything we can to tune everything out. While your day may have been tiring and strenuous, it’s important that you devote time to listening to your wife without interruption.

She wants to be heard and feel like you’re truly listening. When you do this, she feels like she’s valued. When you don’t, she feels like her words don’t truly matter.

3. Quality Time Together

Time alone isn’t always the easiest thing to come by, especially when you have children. Many women don’t ask for time alone with their spouse because they are so caught up in work and family life. Many women would ask for quality time alone if their husbands would initiate it.

Sometimes, women feel guilty when they desire or ask for time away from their responsibilities, particularly their responsibilities at home. No matter how caught up you are in the hustle and bustle of life, you and your wife need that time alone together to keep our relationship healthy.


Romance is one of the most fun and least executed activities in many relationships. There are so many distractions in our busy lives that it can be hard for many husbands and wives to find the time to be romantic. Despite what your wife may be showing you, she needs romance and she doesn’t want to be the only one initiating it.

She wants you to do the planning sometimes. The way to make the romance in your relationship stronger is by fully engaging in it. Being romantic isn’t much work, and savoring romantic moments will strengthen your bond.

5. Help

Your wife wants you to help out with things at home, without having to be asked. If your wife is the one who is responsible for the cooking and the cleaning, take time out to help her with those day-to-day tasks. There are times when your wife may feel overwhelmed by these tasks, but doesn’t ask for help because she deems it as her responsibility.

If your wife generally helps the kids with their homework, get involved in the process. Nothing will warm your wife’s heart more than seeing you take a sincere interest in the work that your child brings home from school.

6. Affirmation

Verbal affirmation is important in every marriage, particularly for those who speak the words of affirmation love language. Some people feel that words have more weight than actions, and if your wife is one of those people, she would rather hear the reasons behind your love versus any other expression of love.

You may think your wife already knows that you think she is the most special person in the world, but she also wants to hear that from you too.

Remember, there is power in words. If you’re not affirming your wife, she may feel like you don’t care. Verbal affirmation lets your wife know that she is still treasured.Challenge yourself to refuse to overlook the importance of selflessness.

Instead, choose to pursue selflessness as the very means to achieve happiness in your marriage – not just for your sake, but for the sake of your wife who you so truly love.

This post first appeared on
Belief Net

Written by Abel Udoekene

Abel Udoekene jnr is a fisherman by day, a blogger by night, a Social Media strategist, Writer, Children Ambassador, COO at Inspiration Africa.

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