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Married But Still Single

“I…. Take you…… To be my lawfully wedded (Husband/wife) to HAVE and to HOLD, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for Richer, for Poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part… ”

This is one of the most abused privileges in modern history.

When it comes to love and relationship, to a great extent we create the love life we want. From the first day we met to the first kiss and all the first everything till when we echo the “I do” testimony in front of family and friends we have already develop a pathway for our love journey.

But why do most Married folks appears to remain single after marriage? You may asked?.
The reasons are complex and often based on so many factors which includes :

1. Unhealthy Attraction.

Some people get attached to people who are emotional unavailable and so denied themselves of some intimate ties that is very vital to marital success.
Some other people get attracted to people because of financial or materials benefit, and once those benefit are no longer visible, the emptiness it’s brings breeds chaos and confusion.
Unhealthy attractions promote disharmony in family, hatred where love was once visible and hunger even in the midst of plenty.
The secret to a successful love life is to know what you want, define what you want, work on/for what you want and develop a love life that you will always be proud of.

2. Rule Making

Most people are not open to their partners when it comes to their likes and dislikes, so they develop a rule book to govern their love life. The truth is that what look good on paper doesn’t always look good in reality.
Not being open to your partner is a big sign that you are still single even while you are married.

Note: There is no short cut to a perfect love life, love life becomes perfect through commitment, dedication and understanding which can only be achieved through communication. So be open to your partner, you have no other choice.

3. The Past

If you want your relationship to be a success, be careful of your past. Your past secrets and lifestyle can make you to remain single even while you are married. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner everything that may hunt you ahead of time before it comes knocking. And never allow your past to destroy the present, forgive yourself and those who may have hurt you and move on. Remember, life is always on the move, so move on,leave the past behind and take charge of the present.

4. Focusing More on your Career than your love life

Once your career becomes more important than your marriage, that feeling of being single will become visible and you will be tempted to do things in favour of your career, and your love life will start to suffer.

The key,is to balance work and family, drop office work in the office, even if you happen to bring some office work home, involve your partner, make it a family thing, don’t lock yourself up in a room because you want to concentrate and leave your partner alone to stay in the dark.

5. Little or no Play Makes a relationship dull.

Couple who find time to play together are more likely to enjoy good and long lasting relationship than those who don’t. The feeling of being single even in relationship occur when you can’t compromise or create some time to have fun with your partner by playing games like scrabble, word brain, Chess, etc.

No matter who you are or what you do, love is the number one thing in life, make sure you nurture, develop, cherish and build your love life every day. There is no need for saying “I do” when you are obviously still single in your self acclaimed “Couple life”

Written by Abel Udoekene

Abel Udoekene jnr is a fisherman by day, a blogger by night, a Social Media strategist, Writer, Children Ambassador, COO at Inspiration Africa.

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