Saturday Digest: I Am A Professor Of Everything

I am not a PhD holder just to tell you a little about myself,   I am a Professor, at least that is what people call me.

You may begin to ask why I am called by that name, but just for a start, in case they ask you tomorrow,  we on this other side cherish papers qualications  and title, that’s why we are just the giant of Africa on paper not in reality.

“Shut up, who do you think you are? ” A voice echoed from a distance.

“I am the voice of those farmers in the village begging and crying for our Engineering Professors to develop modern farm equipment for sustainable agriculture”

“I am that welder at your door step who doesn’t understand the over 50 academic papers that makes you a Professor of Electrical Engineering but is crying and hoping that you can solve the power crisis that is affecting our Nation”

“I am that old woman who cannot afford a cup of rice because of the so called Economic recession, even when we have  so many Professor of Economic who can advice our President and so many Professor of Agriculture who has allowed our arable farmland to waste”

Don’t stare at me like that, what is your own, are you not the one that asked about my identity? 

“Enough! Enough of all this drama, you are a fraudster, why do you claimed to be a Professor when you don’t even have at least 20 papers attached to your name?”

“Sorry Chief Dr Emeritus Professor, I don’t call myself Professor, it is the people that call me”

“Liar!  Liar!! Liar!!!  Who are you fouling, do you think I will fall to your  pranks, I am not one of them, you can’t foul me”

“But sir, let me ask you a simple question, please don’t be angry, why are you a Professor…

“I am a Professor because I am a Professor.. ”

“Sorry sir, I am not done yet, are you a Professor because of the papers you published or the lives you have impacted?”

“Have you read my paper on Fungus fungicide? ”

“Please sir, What is the economic implications of your paper on my life, I’m so sorry, I’m not trying to look down on your paper, I am a Professor of everything, I’m just trying to say my mind.”

What do you think?

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Written by Abel Udoekene

Abel Udoekene jnr is a fisherman by day, a blogger by night, a Social Media strategist, Writer, Children Ambassador, COO at Inspiration Africa.


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