Things My Girlfriend Is Not Allowed To Do…*Straight face*

1. My girlfriend is not allowed to swim without floaties..you trying drown and escape this relationship? Not today!

2. My Girlfriend is not allowed to sneeze in public, and guys be like “BLESS YOU” she’s already blessed…she has me

3. My girlfriend is not allowed to drink any energy drink.. What you trying to get energy for? To find the strength to beat me? Never!

4. My Girlfriend Not Allowed To have more than 3 male friends. The father, the son, and the Holy Spirit period!

5. My Girlfriend Not Allowed To twerk. Only thing that should be clapping are your hands on Sunday in church. Thank you Jesus

6.My gf not allowed to have a cell phone. Who she tryna talk to? Here’s a walkie-talkie, you ain’t going that far

7.My girlfriend not allowed to break up with me without making a 20 slide power point, 4 essays, and a letter signed from God

8.. My girlfriend isn’t allowed to get glasses or contacts. What you need better vision for? You seeing someone else?

9.My girlfriend isn’t allowed to blink. Are you telling me you’re tired of seeing my face?

10. My girlfriend isn’t allowed to say “I LOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART” What you gonna do with the free space at the top? Love other guys? NO.

11. My gf isn’t allowed to make a duck face when she takes a picture what if someone thinks she is offering a kiss & tries something?

12. My girlfriend isn’t allowed to laugh at other boys jokes when I’m not around. He better call me and we’ll decide together if its funny or not.

13.My girlfriend isn’t allowed to do algebra. She doesn’t need to know how to find her X

14. My girlfriend isn’t allowed to pray silently. I want to know what you and God got going on. You might be praying for another man

15. My girlfriend isn’t allowed to open doors, windows, or cabinets like what are you searching for? A way out? Another man? I’m right here..I am watching ur every move.

16. My girlfriend isn’t allowed to go outside, I already brightened your day what do you need sunlight for?

17. My girlfriend isn’t allowed to eat vegetable. Are you trying to lower your cholesterol & live longer than me to find a new guy? Hell no, we dying together!

By Prince Nosa Temisan Owie

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