First impressions, though always overlooked, are very important in dating. How you carry yourself on a first date will determine the direction the relationship takes. If things go wrong the first time, it can take ages to win back the lost goodwill.
My advice to guys is too look out for the following red flags and take to the hills:
Dressing: How a woman is dressed for the first date tells a lot about her personality and what she’s looking for. If she shows up dressed like a poll dancer, with her boobs and thighs sprawling all over the place, the message that will be broadcast is, “I do not want anything serious, just have your way with me and let’s get this over and done with already!”
Ladies, if you think skimpy is sexy, then you are misguided. If a man makes a move to bed you on a first date, probably you are the one who has sent those signals, announcing that you are ‘that kind of girl’ by the way you are dressed or acting.
Do not try too hard to impress, it is just a date, not a life and death relationship boot camp! Be simple. Be yourself. Let him see the real you.
Bad-mouthing the ex: Your past relationship may crop up during a date, even though it is not advisable to go that direction with the man you fancy. Dear guys, if the woman starts talking ill of her ex with a good dose of curse words to boot, just sit there like a robot and blank it out. But let that be the last date you are having with her.
Such a bitter and foul-mouthed woman is probably still holding grudges and is yet to move on from the breakup. She’s most likely looking for a scapegoat. Besides, if she was mature, the best thing she could have done is talk to the man who disappointed her, whether it was a matter of infidelity, irresponsibility, poor performance or otherwise. If you really have nothing good to say about someone, just accept and move on.
My mama taught me that if I have nothing good to say, I should keep my trap shut. When it comes to exes, one way of moving on is by not talking about him with a new flame, especially if it still hurts.
Remarks like, “I left him because he has a tiny tool, or he was a broke fool,” are totally unnecessary. Just tell the guy, “I have moved on and do not wish to discuss my ex.”
Drinking like a fish: A glass of wine or whatever she takes is fine. But a woman should exercise control when it comes to alcohol on a first date. Most importantly, this will guarantee that the guy does not take advantage of your impaired judgement when you are inebriated. Unless the chemistry between you is out of this world, no man wants to be associated with a woman who drinks and curses like a sailor.
Manners: Men, look for the exit door, if she yells at waiters, makes endless trips to the washrooms, is ever on the phone, giving only scanty attention to what is supposed to be an intimate talk between people interested in each other, is rude and displays all manner of disrespect.
Wasteful: She orders food carelessly and plays with and hardly eats a thing, drop her! I do not know about other women, but I do not joke with food. I also work hard for the little money I earn, so I know how it feels like for someone to waste it. When you take a woman for a date, you’ve probably saved for months to afford the date and impress her. Then she orders an expensive meal and hardly touches it! If I were you, I’d refuse to pay her bill, but since I believe in chivalry, just foot the bill then boot her! That is a wasteful woman who does not appreciate other people’s efforts. How dare she?
My friend, when a man buys you food in good faith, put you shyness and pretence aside because you probably eat from the sufuria like a glutton in your house. So, get off your behind, go wash your hands and sit down to devour the dish!
Asking for fare: A man worth his salt needs to ensure a woman he goes on a date with gets home safely and that includes paying for her fare home.
However, a woman worth her title must at least carry her fare. What happens if the guy is a buffoon who does not deserve your time? Must you tolerate him just because you are dependent on him to pay for your cab back home?
A woman who asks for fare comes about as clingy and needy. If you cannot pay for your own fare, what can you do?
Written By Scophine Aoko Otieno
Facebook: Scophine Otieno