Abel Abel

Saturday Digest : Between Common Sense And Uncommon Sense

“They have colonize the naira again”

“Who colonize the naira, If I may asked”

“Can’t you see, everything is now about dollar, my wife bought a bag of rice yesterday N 12,500 and they told her that the dollars has gone up”

“and so? ”

” But it used to be N8,500 before”

“And so? ”

” Stop saying that, it’s irritates me”

“Wait a minute sir, Is garri also from America, the price has suddenly gone up? ”

” Shut up, what do you know, I pity you young people, you lack COMMON SENSE, all you know is complaining on Social media, I bet very soon, the dollar will soon affect the price of Internet bundle ”

” sorry sir, it’s won’t get to that, but we must fight for the independence of our naira, how can we be depending on the dollar for everything, from chewing stick to toothpick, pencil, garri, this is serious ”

” We who? ”

” we now”

“Go and tell that to your minister of finance and the CBN governor ”

” But sir, do you know one Mr Ifeanyi Ubah? ”

” ye… s”

“What about him? ”

” He said he has a solution to the naira problem”

“Hmmm… And what is the solution? ”

” He said our president must consult him first before he can say anything ”

” That is treason, naira is dying and he is saying rubbish, what nonsense, give me the EFCC chairman’s number ”

” 16+6 =24 that’s all”

“Foolish boy, I didn’t say Minister of finance, I said EFCC chairman ”

” But sir for what”

“We must be our brothers keeper, I am keeping watch over the naira”

“So sir, is naira your brother? ”

” Yes off course ”

(Smiles)
” OK… I understand why naira is falling ”

” What! Are you blaming me? ”

” Yes sir, you are the reason our naira is falling ”
” What do you mean? ”

” OK let me ask you a question ”

” go on ”

” you have not collected your salary since December abi? ”

” yes, it’s the federal government ”

” Are they dasuking your money too? ”

” Na you sabi, now tell me why you are blaming me before I loose my temper”

“But sir, it has not gotten to that , leave me neck please, I am begging you”

“Shut up”

“OK sir , please I will tell you, sir if the federal government have not paid you since last year, that means you have starved your brother the naira to a near coma, how can he fight the dollar when he is so hungry? ”

” You must be a fool”

“No sir you said I lack common sense ”

” No, you lack UNCOMMON SENSE, idiot…”

See you next week…

This column is written for Abel Abel by Abel Udoekene, follow him on twitter @abelekene