Last year Sara Williams* was overwhelmed by work and family obligations when a flirty friend led her into temptation.
While dropping my son off at day care one morning, a mommy friend invited me to meet her sister who was visiting. I was instantly intrigued by Bianca*, whose high energy, tight clothes and bright colors were a contrast to my slacks, sweats and earth tones. Because she was so much fun, my husband, Julian*, and I quickly formed a friendship with her. I was the family breadwinner, working 60 hours a week while also earning a business degree. Julian and I had been married for three years, and our love was stronger than ever, but the second I got home from work all I could think about was doing laundry, putting my son to bed and preparing for the next day. Bianca was like a breath of fresh air.
I felt young and free as we started to hang out and she shared steamy stories about her dating life. As someone who never felt sexy, I was fascinated. She was constantly telling me I was beautiful, and the compliments grew. One night we were having a drink when she leaned over and told me she loves going down on women. Then she whispered in my ear, “Let me kiss it.” I was shocked but laughed it off. A few weeks later she met me at my job. In the car she started to rub my thigh and whispered, “Just let me lick it.” I gave in to curiosity and allowed her to pleasure me right there. After-ward she told me I hadn’t cheated because she was a woman. I let it happen once more before I realized I was terribly wrong.
If I couldn’t tell my husband about what Bianca and I were doing, then it was cheating—even though we never kissed and I didn’t touch her. I ended the friendship and confessed everything to Julian. He was crushed, especially since I rarely allowed him to pleasure me that way. We worked together to strengthen our relationship and communicate better, and scheduled more date nights. I also make more time to unwind from the pressures of work and family. I realize I saw in Bianca fun and sexy qualities I wanted for myself and used her as an escape. I’ve started watching YouTube beauty videos, bought my first pair of skinny jeans and am working to explore my own sensuality—which is all I should have learned from her.
This article was featured in the ESSENCE Magaine. The author’s name has been changed to protect her privacy.