Marriage is something that many of us aspire to, but with more than fifty percent of marriages ending in divorce, what can be learned for those marriages that don’t work out?
It turns out that many of the mistakes that people make, and regret, in a marriage have all been made before, so read the ten most common of those mistakes, so that you can hopefully avoid them.
1. Not listening
It’s no wonder that the warning signs are missed if you don’t pay attention to what your partner is saying. It’s a common mistake that married people make, when they stop listening to one another. Perhaps there really is something more interesting on TV, but that can’t possibly be more important than your marriage, can it?
2. Being dishonest
Lies, of any sort, will wreck a marriage. Even the smallest of lies will create an atmosphere of mistrust in the relationship, so be honest with each other, about everything, and then there will be no suspicion at all.
3. A tease too far
Your teasing could be purely innocent, but if it is hurting your partner, then that could be damaging to the marriage. What you think is playful and harmless can sometimes be a lot more hurtful than you realize, especially if it is repeated over and over again.
4. Leaving no time for each other
A relationship needs nurturing and for that you need to spend time together. Spending quality time together is very important in a long term relationship, as it is so easy to take things for granted, and then you will slowly but surely find yourselves growing further and further apart.
5. Always getting your own way
No one can possibly be right all the time and no one needs to be! Trying to always get your own way or getting the last word, will only wear your partner down. There has to be an element of compromise in a marriage and that way, both parties can be happy.
6. Not showing each other respect
Marriage does not mean that one partner owns the other, it is a partnership of equals and both people deserve the respect of the other. Each person has the right to their own opinions, the right to remain an individual and the right to flourish. Without this respect, a marriage will flounder.
7. A lack of tenderness
Intimacy is not everything in a marriage, but it does have an important role to play. Loving care, tenderness and intimacy draws people closer together emotionally too, and it helps to create a lasting bond.
8. Being selfish and greedy
Marriage is all about sharing and there is no room for being selfish and greedy. You agreed to share the money, your time and your positions. If one person is keeping their side of the bargain and the other is not, then this is sure to be a nail in the coffin of the relationship.
9. Fighting unfairly
Disagreements and arguments are bound to happen, but resorting to the unfair tactics of bringing your partner’s faults, or past arguments, to the table, will not resolve the issue at hand, nor will it be healthy in the long run. It is more important to find a resolution, rather than to win. Couples who follow these principals will get over their disagreements far more quickly.
10. Allowing too much distance to develop between you
You can’t have a meaningful relationship together if you are apart from each other. It’s good to have your own space sometimes, but, with all the pressures of work and the hectic lifestyles that we live, you can find that you are drifting apart, without even noticing it. Make the time for each other, do things together and you will keep the bond strong.