My Daughter, tomorrow you will stop bearing my name. You will be happily married to the man you love. Dont miss me because I have fulfilled my purpose, it is now time for you to start fulfilling yours.
From your childhood, I have raised you well by the grace of God but before you say I do, there are few things I need to tell you about living with a man and being married.
Do you remember when you wrote your WAEC and JAMB exams? You came to me and I gave you 20,000 naira for the registration? Well, even though I gave it to you, the money was not mine. I know you always thought I paid the fees. The truth is, I was broke… but your mother gave me the money. She could have given it to you but she decided to give it to me to give to you.
Support your husband. Some times things will get tough… he will be frustrated. Even though he acts tough, in his mind he has fears… he fear you may not value him anymore because he has fallen. That is the time to get behind him and support him!
The best way to show your husband you love him is to respect him! You may argue with him, you may disagree but at the end of the day, let him know he has your respect.
Do you remember the day I screamed at your mother? What did she do? She was quiet! Do you also remember the day she screamed at me? What did I do? I was quiet! My daughter learn to be quiet sometimes when your husband is angry. When one person is hot, the other should be cool. If two are always screaming at same time, that is how big problems start in marriage.
The first thing to know about your husband is his favourite food! If he has more than one then keep them at the back of your mind. Dont let him ask for it, always prepare it for him.
There was a day your mother caught me touching a woman’s hand affectionately. I was lust after that woman but I was not yet cheating on your mum. When she saw us… she didnt fight the lady, she quietly left. I was afraid of going home because all hell will break lose. But when I got home she said nothing. She served me my food. Guilt was taking control over me. I started begging. From that day, I never looked at a woman two time. Who knows? If she had fought and threatened me… maybe I could have run away from the fight into the arms of the lady. Sometimes Silent brings better solution than fight.
Forget those romantic novels you read while you were 21. Remember those Indian and American love movies? Also remember those too sweet Nollywood films on African magic? Forget them! Don’t expect your married life to be that way. Life is different from fiction
The last thing I want to tell you…. Do you remember how you were born? After our wedding, things were tough and your mum had to do two jobs to support us. I was working as well. I get home 6 PM while she gets home 8pm tired. But when we get to bed… she will not refuse me my night food. That is how you were born. Dont form a habit of denying your husband of his night food.
Be a good wife. You will always be Daddy’s girl…
Take note: This post is written by Mfon Abel Ekene (People call me these days ‘Abel Abel’). I am not married but this post is written from my observation of my parent as a child. I am sure this is what my Dad would tell his daughter
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Note: There will be a follow up on this under the title: What A Mother Told Her Son A Day Before His Wedding