Love gives; and it is neither male nor female.
I remember last year valentines day, a man called in on a radio call-in program frantically asking for suggestions on what grand present to give to his wife for valentine on the day. He was really serious.
The presenter was really surprised and wanted to know why he desperately wants to please his wife. He told an interesting story of what his wife did to him that morning.
He woke up that morning to find a new ORIGINAL and expensive Manchester United full jersey kits by his pillow. He observerd that his wife had deliberately refused to collect money from him prior to the time because she wanted all the expense to come from her own pocket.
It was his wife who spent her money to order the merchandise; the jersey of the club he loves fiercely. It beat his imagination. How could a wife who can barely sit down to watch a football match think up something this wonderful? He wondered.
He knew his wife was not enthusiastic about football, she doesn’t support any football club, he knew she could only have done it for him….for love!!
AND FOR EFFECT, SHE DIDN’T EVEN SAY A WORD ABOUT IT. she just quietly placed it by his pillow.
She had challenged him to his core. There was no escaping this, he has to respond. She had engineered her own receiving. The man did not just want to give his wife anything, he must do something out of the ordinary. What a wise woman.
One of the topmost forces of life(life is spiritual) is the inviolate principle of GIVING.
What I observe with much trepidation however, is how ROMANCE seem to have been organized in such a way that the female is awkwardly positioned to receive and receive only and infinitely. I’M SOLELY CONCERNED HERE ABOUT MATERIAL THINGS !!
It is a major mystery of life that we increase and multiply by GIVING and almost never by receiving.
Clearly (although it doesn’t always seem so at first), the men are at advantage not because they are smarter or generous or that they mean to deliberately get ahead through giving, but solely because it is universally expected that it’s culturally his place to give perpetually while the women receive perpetually.
Have you notice that over 90% of women are poor at old age? Even those who married rich men? Why? Receiving is a culture to women and no one ever stays prosperous by receiving perpetually.
And for the ladies receiving sure Feel good doesn’t it. It helps to measure how committed he is to you. If he loves he gives. How romantic! Here romance and love is measured by how desperate the man is to prove his seriousness by giving on loan if need be.
The trouble is, the laws of life and living doesn’t give a hoot about the ethos of ROMANCE. You give , you multiply, you give more, you multiply more, PERIOD!
The perpetual giver multiplies (whatever engineers the giving is most times immaterial), the perpetual receiver shrinks.
Its a pitiable state of poverty to perpetually enjoy receiving as a matter of personal life value agreeable to all. Worse is when it represents our core definition for love and romance.
Most of our mothers did it and after the huge receiving they got from our fathers over a long period of time, still, most of them remained poor and needy ( of course our fathers got tired of giving forever and concentrated on other matters that were more pressing after a while).
This things of course becomes more evident when the man dies first. Most wives become poor after the death of their husbands( including wives with rich and generous husbands).
HEREIN LIES THE LESSON FOR TODAY’S LADIES.
Nobody is saying they should lead in the giving venture, but she as a matter of cause and effect must begin to give back to the man in her life for her own sake, and she must do it heartily with sincerity and gusto.
The law of multiplication that runs here on this planet insists that you give in order to increase and multiply and don’t ask me why. All I know is it works all the time.
Secondly, when you give back perpetually you encourage your man’s giving toward you to go on forever and to also increase unlike our fathers who got tired and stopped.
Thirdly, the entire romance is more exciting, more complete and intriguing with so much surprise elements to look forward to when the giving emerges from both ends.
If you doubt this just ask yourself, where are those happening ladies, women, wives of years gone by. Yeah, don’t you remember those madams who flaunted their diamond rings, posh cars, landed properties and others fortunes that made the average female loath for life?
The ethos of romance produced that for them then. It used to look like they had things easy. They seemed to have whatever they desired and even in excess , and maybe they did then. Then?! How about now?
Go ahead and investigate them. Most of those fortunes they got have virtually disappeared. Why?! Simple, most of what they own were solely products of receiving and whatever you receive which you did not engineer by giving will eventually diminish and ultimately disappear!
And the romance ? Dead and gone forever!
All gone with the wind. Why? Simple, perpetual receiving has no stamina to last. Whatever you can’t dare to give, you are going to squander even if you receive if for free.
Nobody truly becomes rich by receiving, it will fizzle because no one violates the inviolate laws of life and living. This law reserves no exceptions…not even for the beautiful ethos of romance!
Have you ever gone shopping for him before? Yes with your own hard earned money?
… Let get it started right there.
If he gives you gifts as you naturally expect him to, a little revenge would be in order.
If he is the right person for you, your little revenge will multiply what you get next…and please remember to beg him not to go borrowing just to beat you at giving cos he is going to try everything to beat you giving.
GIVING IS WISDOM UNMATCHED!
TRY IT THIS CHRISTMAS!
Written by an Abel Abel contributor, Love Strong